I've got you...
you're SAFE here
I am deeply dedicated to my clients; this is sacred work.
On my website, you'll find resources, tools, and programs to help you find your way back to you... and while you do, don't worry, I've got you; I won't let you fall.
My definition of GASLIGHTING:
As a trailblazer and thought-leader in the field of GASLIGHTING, I found the "traditional" definition was leaving people MORE confused about what IS and IS NOT GASLIGHTING; it was stigmatizing; it was perpetuating fear and a sense of powerlessness.
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THIS WAS NOT HELPING ANYONE!
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My work in this field over the past decade led me to create my OWN definition of GASLIGHTING - one that has helped my clients SEE THEMSELVES; one that has helped shift the power BACK IN TO THE HANDS OF MY CLIENTS!
THIS IS MY DEFINITON:
GASLIGHTING verb
gas·â€‹light·â€‹ing
When a person (or group of people) through COVERT behaviors CONVINCES another person that what they think, believe, perceive or feel is inaccurate or invalid.
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Your Story is My Story
*TRIGGER WARNING: pornography, sex addiction/sex offender
behavior
January 21, 2011, the FBI showed up at my house...
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It was a typical school day, and I had just taken the kids to
school. I heard our dog, Bella, barking outside and went to see
what was going on. Nothing could have prepared me for
what happened next.
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Like some sort of action-movie playing out before me, I saw
FBI agents, with their bullet-proof vests on and guns drawn,
approaching the door.
"Why is the FBI in our yard?" I asked my (then) husband. I opened the door, and the agent presented me with a search warrant. I can't remember the exact verbiage, but they were searching for "under-age pornography". They separated us, and before I knew what was going on, they had taken my (then) husband away - arrested for possession of under-age pornography.
I'm not sure how much later it was - an hour? Two hours? Three hours later? An FBI agent was interviewing ME - asking ME how much I knew about all the stuff my (then) husband had been up to... implying that I was aware he had issues with pornography. My response, "I don't think you understand who my husband is - he's a pastor. He never would do this. You must have the wrong guy."
I was clueless.
Having been married for 14 years by then, I was beyond devastated; I was scared and lost. Everything I knew to be real I now couldn't trust – NOT EVEN MYSELF! How could this secret world have been happening right under my roof? How did I not know? Why did this happen to me?
My answers began to come when I learned about GASLIGHTING.
I learned that I had been a victim of severe, chronic GASLIGHTING. I knew that in order to heal from the trauma in my marriage, I would have to dive DEEP into understanding everything I could about this thing called GASLIGHTING. This journey took me YEARS.
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To my wonder, healing from trauma ended up being only the beginning. As I dove deeper and deeper, my journey shifted to finding out who I really was. By looking at things from a GASLIGHTING perspective, I was able to see how I had experienced GASLIGHTING since childhood; GASLIGHTING that had caused me to both TAKE ON and become things that WEREN'T me, and SUPPRESS things that WERE me!
I realized I had been living only half-awake.
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As you'll read through the next few sections, this is NOT where my story ended! Through hard work, incredible support, and the love of my mom, dad, and kids - I not only found healing, I found peace, freedom, and joy! The life I now live comes from knowing, loving, and trusting myself.
Aligned, Authentic Me
This new awareness enabled me to stop my self-GASLIGHTING, release the things that were not authentically me, and discover a whole wonderful universe that was inside of me! Part of that, for me, was discovering and embracing my sexuality.
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Today, I am married to the love of my life, Melanie. The relationship we have is amazing! I remember the day I said I wanted a partner that would love me as well as I would love them. One week later she walked into my life, and we’ve been together since! I also have a wonderful relationship with my parents, my kids, and my friends.
The knowledge of, love for, and trust I have in myself has enabled me to finally have the types of relationships that one dreams of.
You know you're in the right place if you're ready to awaken to:
MY JOURNEY + MY PASSION =
YOUR JOURNEY, MADE EASIER
Since I started coaching 11 years ago, I quickly recognized that most of my clients were experiencing similar challenges in their lives; in fact, many of my clients experience such high levels of GASLIGHTING-induced anxiety, that they were often misdiagnosed as having anxiety disorders. However, I am able to quickly connect the dots that GASLIGHTING is the cause of their anxiety, not a mental health issue.
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My clients are desperate to find peace and experience their own transformational journey to knowing, loving, and trusting themselves.
My own journey to embrace my awakening, and learning to love and trust my self again, was a slow and grueling one. There was no established, proven path available for my healing process. But because I have walked through the fire and found true freedom and happiness on the other side, I am now able to help YOU do the same.
After a decade of DECONSTRUCTING GASLIGHTING™, over 8,000 hours of coaching clients, and multiple trainings along the way, I am a trauma-informed coach who is a THOUGHT LEADER and EXPERT in the field of GASLIGHTING.
I have created offerings that will help you deconstruct the GASLIGHTING that you have experienced throughout your life, and use that knowledge to fully embrace your awakening and find the freedom your soul yearns for.
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